Nakautot ka na?

Location: Perpetual Hospital, Las Pinas
Current Mood: Still drowsy (and a bit gassy)

Pam was rolled in this morning from the recovery room. First thing I noticed (aside about her catheter) was how small her tummy was. Honestly, I don't remember the last time i saw her that "slim". Note that it was only last year that we gave birth to our panganay Julia, making it a two year-long pregnancy. I think this was a record of sorts, adding the fact that we have 3 babies in 2 years(Maybe I should check the Guiness Book of World Records). I asked her how she was, and she gave me a nasty stare (I have a 6-inch incision in my belly, and you're asking me if I'm OK?).

Well she was up and about that same day-- brave girl I married! I think if men were the ones giving birth, I would have chosen celibacy (Tule nga lang nanginginig na ako sa takot, panganganak pa!). Her doctor insisted that she try to move around as much as she can para mautot na sya. An hour later a nurse came in with her meds, and asked non-challantly if nauutot na sya. That evening the care giver who came in to change her napkins (mental note: no sweet & sour pork for dinner) also asked if na-utot na sya. She then asked if she was nautot na. Even the nice hospital janitress joined the fray and asked:

Nautot na po kayo?

Maybe you're asking: What's with this fart fetish? Why was the entire hospital staff suddenly obsessed with Pam's fart? Did it turn sweet after the c-section?(Mam, utot mo ang bango.. at kulay orange!).

Well as funny or repulsive as it sounds, doctors do look forward to seeing (or hearing) their patients break gas after an operation. As explained to me by my nephrology doctor after my kidney donation, passing gas is a good sign that indicates your digestive system is working normally after a major operation.

Well apparently Pam was well enough the next day to say (and proudly at that!)"Oo, nautot na ako".



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Some fart facts
- Farts are created mostly by E. coli.
- On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% is what makes them stink.
- The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
- A person produces about half a liter of farts a day.
- Although they won't admit it, women fart as much as men.
- Termites are the largest producers of farts.
- Farts are flammable.
- The word "fart" comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind").
- Excess gas in the intestinal is medically termed "flatulence."
- More but utterly useless (but funny) fart facts at http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

You can also make music with the Farting Nun Organ